#did he lose him in the end anyway
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he told betsy to go ahead with using any information from their sessions if it made jean feel even slightly comfortable. he asked someone he hadn't spoken to properly in years to make space for jean to heal. he held jean's hand. he held jean's face. he left the room without argument when jean asked him to. he knew jean liked some of the trojans. he grounded jean's mind when he was slipping. he locked himself in a room in distress when he thought jean was dead. he agreed to do an interview with jean knowing the comments they would have to face. he asked if jean would teach him french when riko wasn't looking. he wrote jean messages at the back of postcards. he got jean a little bear magnet, among many others. he made jean promise not to take his life. he told jean he didn't want to lose him.
#did he lose him in the end anyway?#who knows#nora drop tsc2 so we can find out pls#aftg#tfc#kevjean#kevin day#jean moreau
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pvp civ nation...... this aint much but pls take my contribution for this series bc im going insane i love hate this man so much get him out of my head
#senart#pvp civilization#pvp civ#I'LL MAKE A PROPER ONE I SWEARR I JUST NEED TO GET THIS OUT OF MYSYSTEM FIRST#if it turns out he gets a bad ending in ep 6 i dont think i'll be ok like#he deserves a good ending . or a villain arc at least. he deserves to go batshit crazy after how everyone treated him#ALSOO the chekovs gun video journal device thing?? The excessive 4th wall breaking?#Is it just me or does jt feel like evbo is gonna lose his memory/already lost his memory and was sent to the wood sword lvl with tabi#or like . Idk?? It feels kind of truman show ish. Well maybe not that but its just the vibe im getting w the way that everyone has their-#-own secrets. How the diamond swords seems to know who evbo n tabi is. How princezam knows about the diamond swords#and then theres also parrot whos just?? Weird overall?? Idk whats going on w him but i need to know his backstory wdym u think evbo will-#-hate you if he knows what you did??#ANYWAY BACK TO THE VIDEO JOURNAL AND POTENTIAL MEMORY LOSS.#I dont want jt to go that way (mostly bc i dont want to see evbo suffer more than he already did) but it rlly does seem like its heading to#that direction w the way that it also has become a way to narrate what he went through (ie when the ep shows his attempts to beat the-#gold sword lvl but hes narrating it from the future. from his video journal. where he already beat the lvl)#im going insane#Wait also what i meant by the truman show vibe in relation to the excessive 4th wall breaks it makes it sound like pvp civ is just a -#simulation#wait i just remembered its the matrix not that mb umm#anyways.#empty chattering
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the closer we get to arcanes finale the more worried i am bc so often .. if not always .. things i like end in a way that i dislike so much it ruins everything else for me
and im so worried they pull a 'this is a multiverse' thing bc then they can say every skin is somehow canon bc its all different universes you seeeeee and jayce went mad bc he lived through all of them or something, or force it to end in a way that makes the champions end up like they are in game- Vi is a shitty cop, Jinx is just heehoo craycray bc xyz etc
#ganondoodles talks#personal#arcane#sorry i cant help but be rather pessimistic#and i know with the skin universes its kinda a multiverse already but like#a multiverse and different AUs are a different thing for me#i cant imagine how they can make this all end in a satifying way with just three more episodes with so many questions still#like the thing with isha and vander only happens so jinx loses every bit of sanity she had left and Vi goes welp#time to be a shitty enforcer#and then singed takes warwick again and makes him full wolf like in game and theres no connection left anymore bc his memory is fully cooke#or some shit#i REALLY dont want to be pessimistic but uh .... it usually happens with whatever i like and it has scarred me a little#i dont even know whats up with mel either??? they did the whole black rose stuff but#thats pulling in so much lore from noxus ... HOW can they make sense of it in 3 episodes?????#unless they make it a shitty teaser for more to come or soemthing i guess??#.. in any case- whenever i tried to be optimistic and then got disappointed anyway it hit me way harder#so im just gonna go with expecting the worst i can imagine so theres hope left to be surprised in a good way#after all they did go with warwick in a way i really liked for act 2 that is ... though the end im meh about#not a fan of the weird hexcore bullcrap in general tbh#though i like victor ... he was so nice to warwick .. even though i wish he wasnt a cult leader now lmao
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the last of us constantly, over and over and over, picking apart what love can do to and for a person is devastating and fulfilling. like you will love something so much you continue fighting and you love something so much you will start wars and you love something so much you will cease when it's gone and you love something so much you will lay with it peacefully as you say goodbye. you love something so much you will commit atrocities and not expect to be forgiven because what use is forgiveness when that love is gone? my love matters more than your love, says everyone to each other in an echo chamber. and no one is wrong and no one is right, it's just love.
#tlou spoilers#idk might have more coherent thoughts later but fuck#these games and this show fucking eviscerating me every time#kathleen loved her brother! she hunted down two young boys in the nuclear aftermath of that love!#henry loved sam! he sold his hero to the enemy for that love! he thought himself the guy and did it anyway!#he genuinely thought he was a bad guy and would rather handle that guilt than lose sam because he loved him so much#what beauty to love something so much! what devastation when its gone!#excellent way to parallel the end#ive played this game too many times and henry and sam always get me#and this was no exception im dying#the last of us
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bro the feminine wiles aren’t even a joke like. im with that anon who thought hellfire gala charles was a woman when they first saw him bc same, that design is insaaaane (/pos). how could u not think that when u see it lmfao. idk whose choice it was to give him a corset but the hourglass figure + female coded jawline combo do not lie. i saw it on pinterest and i was like ohhh don’t lie to me i know an anime girl when i see one- WAIT PROFESSOR X????
and that’s not even to mention movieverse charles ofc. we’ve all seen james mcavoy and his big sparkly kawaii anime eyes, i shouldn’t have to say it. charles xavier is never beating the allegations, i fear
gonna need this ask hung in the louvre i fear
#fave#snap chats#i think you fully had me at 'big sparkly kawaii anime eyes' like TRUE but vjlKJLKVJAKL#i got this ask while i was out getting sushi with my brother and when i say i was near losing it in our lil booth ajvlkeaklj#female coded jawline is INSANE thats just his face 😭😭😭#the hellfire gala outfit does give off like. Space Girl energy though im not gonna even lie. i think its the halo#and corset /who gave him a corset/ like im the last man to criticize another man wearing a corset i promise#but bold decision to do so right in front of my eyeballs#the princessification of charles xavier needs to be studied im so serious when did this start#i really do think its just the cat suit outfits cause when he's got a suit its different#though.. i was gonna lie but even with the beard he still pretty in FoX#and ill be tbh im still mixed on the beard look like for starters youve reminded me he's blonde and i still think thats illegal#and yet .... his beautiful eyes distract me all the same. like whatever you want bbg you can look like a viking if you want#charles xavier having hair is cursed in general bar the movies and because of that i can only imagine him brunette#but he is my problematic wife so ill love him regardless#it'll be very hard to when he has a terrible brad pitt cut in one universe and wears wigs in the other but thats what loves about#anyway hope everyone had a lovely halloween !! i watched all of S1 of xmen evolution with my bro :)#also if i threw together a quick charles costume then you have no proof of that and esp dont ask our sushi waiter mk thanks#ended the night playing a bit of shadow gen .. if i cried a lil no i didnt thats between me and god ....
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Goku definitely wanted to train Gohan for fun, just like Grandpa Gohan did with him, but then he wanted to respect Chichi's desire of him not becoming a fighter. He also spent 4 years of Gohan's life together and living peacefully.
But then he died, and when he came back, he found that Gohan was turned into a fighter by Piccolo, fair, I guess. He didn't see him fight, tho, he doesn't know the story behind him becoming a fighter, just that he was trained by Piccolo.
Then Gohan wants to go to Namek to find the dragon balls because he has to make sure their dead friends come back, and Goku goes wow that sounds like me, he also can't stand to stay on the side when it comes to these things.
Weeks pass, and now he's finally able to reach them on Namek. They have to fight, of course. Things happen. He's the only chance they have to defeat Freezer. Things fall apart now, Goku becomes Super Saiyan and tells Gohan to take Piccolo and get away. Goku is stuck alone on Namek. He saves himself by pure luck. He decides to stay where he is, to learn something new, to be able to also control his Super Saiyan state.
A year passes, and he comes back to earth. News from the future, saying that in 3 years, there's gonna be a new threat. They have to train, Gohan wants to train with him and Piccolo to fight this new threat. The three years have passed, and now there's another threat outside of the androids. Goku finally healed, he gets Gohan and tells him they're gonna train to defeat Cell. Gohan accepts to train with him. Gohan puts his all into that training, and Goku finds out Gohan has so many capabilities than what he shows. That's good! They have a chance at defeating Cell, maybe.
They finish their training, Goku wants Gohan to spend as much time with Chichi, and he wants to spend the remaining days before the Cell games as a family, you never know. The Cell games start, and Goku goes first to study him, to see how strong he is and if Gohan might have a chance. Oh, Gohan definitely has a chance. Come on, Gohan, now is your turn, I can tell you know you're stronger. Gohan is having difficulties, tho, Goku says it's just a matter of time before his fighting instict and anger sets in. But Gohan doesn't like fighting. That knowledge comes to Goku as a shock. He always assumed Gohan was fighting for the safety of the earth and for the love of fighting as well. At the end of the day, how could he think different, he never truly saw Gohan fighting, and at the end of the day, he was just picking up what Piccolo started in the first place. He never truly showed a disliking for fighting, or at least he never told him. He didn't know how in his first fighting against the Saiyans, he was petrified by fear. He wasn't there for the love of fighting, but because he had to, since he had this power.
Goku realises he miscalculated this. He immediately tells Krillin to pass him a bean so that he can get back into shape to go help him. Of course, Cell stops him before that. After Cell started to attack the others, finally Gohan snapped and unleashed his power, Goku was right after all. Gohan was definitely more powerful than him. He was the right warrior to defeat him. Gohan needs to defeat him once and for all, tho, but he doesn't. He says he has to have a slow and painful death. Those are some shocking words coming from Gohan. It doesn't sound like him. Well, now that has brought some problem, Cell is now about to explode and take all the earth with him. Now Goku has to make a decision. He will sacrifice himself. At the end of the day, he was the one to put Gohan in that position in the first place. It's only fair for him to do that. But, his sacrifice is useless, Cell comes back. Gohan tries his hardest, but his arm is broken. How can he defeat him now. But Goku is there to help him find the strenght and the others too. In the end, Gohan finds the strength to finally beat him.
It's time to revive people. There's still the problem of Goku not being able to be resurrected a second time. They think hey maybe we can use the dragon balls from Namek. But Goku stops them. He thinks that Bulma was right. He only attracts threats that put the earth in jeopardy, Piccolo, the Saiyans, the androids, and Cell. Maybe if he stays dead, they will stop coming. Like that, he will not put Gohan in danger anymore, Gohan will not have to fight anymore. So at the end of the day, it's better for him to stay away, rather than him staying with them, after all he was the one to put Gohan in that situation in the first place. In the end, he makes the selfless choice for Gohan. Maybe it's better for him not to have a father, but being safe, than having a father and being put into danger. At least, that's what he thinks is the right thing to do
#i don't know what this is but the goku decides to stay dead because he feels guilty compels me so much and at the end of the day#it doesn't make him a bad dad like many people think i think people also focus too much on the part where he said well like this i can meet#more powerful opponents when i think he was saying that also to not make them feel too bad#i'm of the opinion that he did it ultimately because he felt guilty for the gohan vs cell even tho it isn't entirely his fault#is he really to be blamed fully for not having notice gohan didn't like fighting when gohan never said anything and for a reason or another#he couldn't stay that much with gohan and the only time he stayed with him it was to train him#anyway i love the nuances about goku as a father truly shows him not to be as black and white as too many people think#also i probably changed verb conjugation so many times so pardon but like when i start making long posts i kinda lose track of what i said#previously so it's kinda of a mish mash of very mixed thoughts#dragon ball z#son goku#son gohan#dbz posting
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Might as well have the salt before the sweet; so here is Rin's Finished Timeline!
Tag list (ask to be added or removed): @carrionsflower @statichvm @risingsh0t @simonxriley @tommyarashikage @kanos @confidentandgood @unholymilf @florbelles @thedeadthree @shellibisshe @roofgeese @aezyrraeshh @faerune @tekehu @jackiesarch @minaharkers @sergeiravenov @carlosoliveiraa @rosenfey @greenecreek @queennymeria @heroofpenamstan @tethrras @jamessunderlandgf @d-esmond @solasan @bigbywlf @delzinrowe @fenharel @imogenkol
#personal*#jess talks#oc: rin kyutoku#my writing#mha oc#bnha oc#anime oc#the finally concluded and updated timeline for my bad girl!!#have had a few moments though up since i first added her bio to her page#so theres some new sections as well as the final ones#i love redemption arcs#but i also love people never losing their personalities#so shes redeemed - somewhat#because listen listen listen#if none of the league experienced their awful childhoods: theyd all be good guys#thats the WHOLE POINT#i do have a happy au for rin and dabi#where they grew up happy and fell in love at ua#so maybe one day i'll write that out#but for now have the canon#i was gonna decide what happened to her mum... but maybe therell be an epilogue of how she kills her to save society *side eye*#and yes dabi (in canon) regrets what he did and cried about it#so him and rin being soft in the end isnt out of character#anyway ill stop explaining myself#i do hope yall enjoy it!!#lemme know what you think in the replies/tags!
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Harry Kim saying Naomi is lucky to be born on Voyager and that he would have given "anything" to have her life when he was a kid...
#He sees NO downsides????#Also I love how Neelix was yelling and panicked and Harry was like 'haha ok buddy. Hey this little guy is ugly huh~? See ya later!'#absolutely unbothered and not the least bit curious - love him <3#saw someone post about how they don't like 'once upon a time' bc Neelix doesn't tell Naomi right away about her mother .... bro.#c'mon. Anyway I love Neelix and him trying so hard to shield Naomi from bad things / upset bc he KNOWS how fucking painful#it is to lose a family DID make me tear up.#Also Naomi in that burned-down forest (symbolic of innocence?) was a kickass visual. Neelix telling her about his family and Naomi trying#to comfort HIM??? SHE'S SUCH A GOOD KID MAN....Neelix making her a flotter doll was also v cute#OH AND Naomi going 'I Am Borg...' and Neelix going '~??? No you're not~!!!' and Naomi giggling...added NOTHING to the#episode - as it should be!! Sometimes you've just gotta have a really cute silly moment <3#Tuvok: [says something] / Tom: Nice bedside manner Tuvok =_=#Tuvok: [about to say the most beautiful comforting words you've ever heard one parent say to another] And I took that personally.#Love how Naomi is scared of Seven at first...girl that's your roommate.#HEHEH she starts off the series scared of her but by the end she's her little buddy and also her intern#but yeah never forget that Harry Kim can and will say the most unhinged things but so casually that no one will really clock it#NEVER forget that he says he remembers.....either being an infant or his own birth - both WILD to me#Harry Kim lowkey loves destiny and being special and the idea of 'chosen ones' and the narrative even though he will fight it all if it#harms the ones he loves#Harry: (guy from an alternate timeline who replaced the dead Naomi with the alive one from his own) That kid's living the dream <3
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honestly, there's probably a lot you can say abt c!dream in terms of losing even when he wins. because, tbh, this is...consistent.
c!dream is very intelligent and very good at PVP and these are well-established traits from the beginning of the server. he is skilled at thinking strategically and therefore is often able to navigate unfavorable situations to him in order to successfully achieve some goal of his. in terms of achieving goals, c!Dream isn't half bad in the slightest! but how do these goals actually work out for him?
in the revolution, c!dream successfully leads his side to victory while minimizing damage to his own people (and, sometimes, minimizing damage across the board: see him telling his men to hold fire to allow lmanburgians to retrieve their items.) the most amount of risk to anyone on his side is during the duel, where he ended up on half a heart to determine the end result of the war. and it's quite undeniable that c!dream wins the war--he gets to set the terms of the peace, gives them "technical" independence as he planned to from the start but says that he and the rest of the Dream SMP will view them as constituents of the greater server and gets both discs after c!tommy offers them willingly. by all means, on paper, a glowing success.
only time passes and as others treat l'manburg as independent, he is forced to do the same. "suck it green boy" becomes one of the most common catchphrases of the server when the independence that was granted them in the book that this statement was written was. literally given to them out of c!dream's mercy? and not out of their victory? he loses both discs AND significant leverage against himself due to various conflicts that involved people stealing from him and/or blackmailing him when he literally wasn't doing anything. l'manburg's ranks have swelled and the story established by it and its independence has long since drowned out any other perspective on the war.
then, in manberg/pogtopia, c!dream enters into the conflict from the perspective of wanting c!schlatt out of power. later on, remaining loyal to c!wilbur, he helps him to successfully pull off the plot to blow up L'manburg and also manages to obtain the revive book through a brief alliance with c!Schlatt. once again, his goals were successfully pulled off in no small part due to his strategizing.
and yet, in the long run, what does c!dream really gain? the revive book is something he evidently didn't know about until the trade with c!Schlatt, and the knowledge of it fucking destroys him. with both c!Schlatt and c!Wilbur dead, he immediately ends up as enemy number one, something c!Wilbur himself states later on. c!Dream, who had never really had any particularly stable alliances pre-manberg anyway, comes out the other side of November 16th even more alone than he had been before, publicly distrusted (not that he was ever really trusted, even by Pogtopia before he officially starts working against them because of the revive book, something that the content creator himself has stated was created purely to explain why c!Dream would switch sides.) the destruction of L'manburg is merely temporary. the plan to blow up L'manburg was c!wilbur's in creation, and considering how open c!Dream is about disliking c!Schlatt, I really hesitate to think that he was going out of his way to ally with guy unless he himself intentionally revealed the revive book to this end (like. c!schlatt is a smart guy, bro.)
c!dream is "secretive" about just about nothing at this time, besides I guess his actually helping Pogtopia (if you can call this guy telling the fucking Manberg cabinet that it's L'manburg, not Manberg, being secretive el em ay oh)--he's open about helping c!Wilbur with the TNT (and c!Wilbur you know, makes a point of doing it in front of an audience both times he asks c!Dream for TNT as well) in Vassal and then on November 6th, and that exact stream is also where he literally walks in the middle of Pogtopia to say hey guys. I'm Betraying You Now. like ???
everything he gains at this time culminates to 1) he helps c!Wilbur successfully pull off a plan that c!Wilbur himself came up with and wanted to pull off and does, to some degree, pressure c!Dream into agreeing with him about--even if c!Dream was going to give him the TNT no matter what, he does display a measure of resistance during Vassal Speech (whether or not you believe this resistance was genuine) and c!Wilbur responds to that by kinda threatening him. So. and 2) he gets the revive book by acting in service to a guy that was clearly established as someone he disliked and feared, and that book is also something that we KNOW scared the shit out of him and like ended up prompting a paranoid spiral that ends with him creating a whole goddamn prison to put himself inside. soooooooo. you know. and all of this is happening at the same time that his losses end up turning into "by the time november 16th rolls around and is over and done with most people either want him dead or are very very close to wanting him dead, cheers!"
then obviously, there's everything from november 16th to the staged disc finale. again, we see c!Dream pulling strategic plays left and right and achieving the goals he has--at this point, often through, uh, less than savory means. through political bullshit with NLM and well, exile, he manages to get the disc during green festival; through helping c!Techno against the butcher army, he manages to obtain a favor; through stuff involving the enderwalk and some kinda deal that im p sure has remained unspecified, he manages to get Cat from c!Skeppy; through experiments with c!Punz, he gets information on the revive book; through green festival, obtaining both discs (and therefore no longer needing to act in terms of political interests with NLM), and establishing common ground with c!Techno, he's able to destroy L'manburg through Doomsday; through having the discs + everyone hating his guts because of Green Festival, Doomsday, and to be fair everyone literally just hating his guts from the outset, he is able to ensure the security of c!Punz, the revive book, and himself by locking himself in prison. A lot of different moving parts, a lot of different goals, a lot of running around the server to get what he needs to get done done at the right times in the right ways, and he manages to con the server and put himself exactly where he wanted to be.
and yet?? and yet??? sure, he pulls off what he wants to pull off, sure he achieves his goals, but in terms of actually winning? he's paranoid and the paranoia just keeps getting worse. the threats to his life and the amount of enemies that want him dead just keep growing in numbers. he finally gets lmanburg blown up for good but you know there's going to be like 4 more factions on this server by the time he gets imprisoned. his friends ditch him and then try to kill him when he clumsily tries to communicate that he's trying to protect them because of the paranoia he has about everyone hating his guts, he explicitly identifies the reasons for people's hatred as having a lot to do with manberg/pogtopia arc where he ends up helping two dead men that aren't around for people to hate anymore, he pulls off staged finale and puts himself in a prison that ends up shattering himself.
like he achieves his goals--even if we're talking about the prison, even if we're talking about the time where things most thoroughly go awry for him because of c!sam's betrayal, you can't say that he didn't achieve what he intended. c!sam kept him alive, and would do anything to keep him alive--he might've been wrong about a lot, but he wasn't wrong about that. and yet. AND YET.
c!dream achieves his goals but where does he end up? miserable and afraid of literally damn near everything and losing his whole mind in the exact prison that he constructed to keep himself safe when in a paranoid spiral about a hostile world that suddenly made so much less sense than he was used to--alone.
like. wdym doesn't lose all he does is lose literally everything he ever had like 😭😭😭😭😭
#c!dreamisms#it's alllll fear all the way down#i have Strong Feelings about manberg/pogtopia too#but that'll have to go into a different post#i feel like. regardless of what you feel like c!dream's /goals/ were in manberg/pogtopia tho#it's kinda undeniable that he loses more than he gains?#i mean unless you're going from the perspective of 'well he kinda lost all of that anyway from the beginning by just being dream'#because to be fair how much of the hatred is even in direct consequence of what he does#even with the inclusion of the revive book it's like. all that did was make him more paranoid#when the ENTIRETY of manberg/pogtopia and how it ended up working out#really did nothing but make him . more of The Enemy and give him more reason to fear for his life#and meanwhile like what did he even gain from blowing up lmanburg fr it remained blown up for like a week#not even#but yeah like. even when he does what he wants. even when he wins? he's not really winning is he
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i love media that focuses more on character than plot and bsd does it so well. like every single character is so beautifully written and asgr treats all of them with such care. i know people complain about the death bait but i think its just. hes not going to kill characters unless that is what makes sense for their arc and their story has been told. its why odasaku is so fixated on not killing: because to him, a character is a real being and you cant be so loose with taking lives when you have full control of one.
even when characters die before youve really had a chance to get to know them properly (the flags, and bram now too, for example), asgr still does a rlly good job of establishing them quickly without leaving them one dimensional. they have a lot of life to them even with so little time to show it. contrast that to something like jjk where you could sit with a character for a while and still not feel like you have a good grasp on Who They Are, and. yikes.
I can emotionally attach to bsd characters who show up for a singular chapter of a backstory light novel. jjk gives a character a whole mini arc and theyre still just nothing to me bc gege, like a lot of writers atm, has characters as plot devices rather than people. and asgr does the opposite.
#anyway odasaku as insight into the way asgr thinks abt writing is SO bc YEA! characters are Little Guys who you have complete control over#and who you must thus treat with dignity#i just like that bsd never loses sight of its main lure - that being that the plot is always based off of what the characters are doing#rather than forcing the characters into what the plot is doing. which is where a lot of stories can end up disappointing to me#anyway. character based media 🔛🔝#nyxi cant stfu#bungou stray dogs#bsd#been thinking abt this again bc of jjk vs bsd discussions and i had to rlly dig thru my drafts to find it bc its a month old but its so real#asgr interviews are lovely bc he talks abt chars w such affection. gege talks abt gojo and im like. why did u write him then.
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actually so evil how much of hal's internal world gets obliterated with the rewriting of his relationships with jessica and martin.
#hal jordan#empyrean posting#ok going in the tags because im not actually v confident in my understanding of his character. i read all of his 80s/90s stuff but forgot#90% of it but ANYWAY.#so much of him just does not make sense with how geoff johns characterises him and his relationships with his parents particularly the#parallax stuff simply because of how much his relationship with the guardians and their apathy/'betrayal' is influenced by hal's original#relationship with his dad. like at its heart it's pretty much the same dynamic in how hal blindly trusts and sort of idolises the guardians#despite their repeated infractions in hope of... something in return just as he had with his father and the abuse he suffered at martin's#hands. that's what makes his anger at the guardians make sense when it does show itself because the relationship parallel didn't stop there.#as with martin hal gets nothing for his devotion. he gets nothing for doing everything that's asked of him and more and it ends the same way#too: with a man in the sky burning like a newborn star. and you lose so much of that nuance and intrigue behind that if you just make#jessica the 'bad one' because!!! you cheapen it!!!!#the whole idea of hal is that he has his father's face but his mother's scars#(to me). in the sense that they both reacted to martin the same way with that cognisance of who he was as a man yet inability to pull away#because... love. both the love they had for him and the conviction that he did or could love them too. and jessica arguably did eventually#but also she didnt did she? because she held onto that notion of love till the very end. the few scraps she had she ballooned outwards until#they became the whole. but hal didnt have even that and he spent his whole life chasing it & running away from wanting it at the same time#like i think there's something so interesting to the fact that he had to be convinced that flying was what he wanted to do. how much of that#was touched by his father? the fear that he was already too much like him than he could bear to be? he already had his face now he had his#dreams and longing for the sky. how much more could he have before he began repeating the cycle?#and at the end he even had his father's death. burning in the clouds. like there's so much there and that's not even touching on how it#impacts his relationships with other heroes. not just in the sense of why did kyle clark and diana get to keep their close yet complex#relationships with their moms when hal had to lose his (although yeah why did they) but also just how he lets himself come across to them.#because it's on purpose right? that he lets them think his reflection of his father is born out of unadulterated love for a man worthy of it#? he has his father's job he wears his father's jacket he smiles his father's smile. what else are they supposed to think.#and isnt that interesting!!! that this man who is so committed to being good & just can lie so casually to people he thinks of as friends!!!#can you see how that might be his mother through and through!!! in how she might have glossed over the abuse to other people and herself!!!#can you see how in spite of it all he might want to be perceived as his father that paragon of masculinity and resent that he is not!!!#do you understand how everything he loves has been poisoned!!! im thinking of that scene where he tells bruce about watching martin die &#wouldnt it have been so much more interesting through this lens. how he is both revealing & obfuscating at once. i hate the change sm
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If I see one more "poor Izzy was in an abusive relationship for twenty years :'(" take I'm going to set this pirate ship on fire.
#you don't get to erase the gorgeous fucked up mutual toxicity of their consent-free sadomasochist trauma survival relationship on MY watch#they SAVED EACH OTHER and MADE EACH OTHER and FUCKED EACH OTHER UP and it was so so bad it was sooooo gooooooooood#like i know disk horse has trained us to think there can only be The Abuser and The Abused and one is always bad and one is always blameless#but babies sometimes relationships are fucked up and when it's fictional it can be so gorgeous like come on#izzy got so hard when fed his toe I'm surprised he didn't have an aneurysm and die right then#if you're gonna claim him as queer then let him be QUEER not an uwu sanitized self insert okay?#he was fine with losing his toe he wasn't fine with losing his playmate#and blackbeard came back WRONG#this thing the two of them created this fucked up dangerous pirate game called blackbeard wasn't about belonging anymore#it wasn't about the two of them surviving the cruelty of their former captain or the worse cruelty of civilized society#it was a caricature and it had to die#and it did in the end#and Izzy realized he didn't need it anymore#and Ed didn't need it#and he was so so happy about it#that was worth dying for#ugh I'm so in love with this story#anyway Izzy wasn't abused & he was abused & he was an abuser & he saved Edward & they were so bad for each other & they loved each other#learn to love complicated fucked up harmful problematic things babies#because you are one#and you deserve love too
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...because any moment may be our last. everything is more beautiful because we're doomed.
#looking through my drafts and seeing this post unfinished and knowing in my core I'll probably never actually finish it .#but strangley enough i don't hate the way it looks with only those 2 panels ? beauty in simplicity or something idk#woe unfinished post be upon ye#honestly probably wouldnt even bother posting it were it not for the fact i was hit by a sudden wave of sadness#by being reminded out of the blue that alex really does just . lose nigel that night#enough deep level analysis my brain is all out i think . but just the simple fact that nigel dies that night#and alex has to go on for the rest of his life post-ending carrying that grief and loss with him#i know we talk about how nigel isn't truly 'gone' in the sense that they're one now and jack is supposed to be an amalgamation of the two#a product of their union and 'consummation' that night at the yard#but he's still gone . no matter how much alex might try and follow in nigel's footsteps#no matter how hard alex tries to tread that same path nigel did to feel close to him#he's gone . they will never have that moment beneath the house ever again . and alex has to go on living with that#anyway . normal again . imagine dropping a song rec like i used to. aha . go listen to sick like me by in this moment.#like minds#murderous intent#nigel colbie#alex forbes#nigel colbie x alex forbes#edit : THEY'LL NEVER HAVE THE MOMENT UNDER THE HOUSE AGAIN !!!!!#thinking about the moment where nigel sits across from alex after he shoots john#and the contrast to the scene in the crawlspace . nigel is trying to connect he is trying to get alex to see to understand#but now alex is closed off. something may be irreparable broken between them#do you think it was the moment where nigel starts to despair . to plead . realise that he needs to find a way to make alex truly see#i need to get some sleep
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i just think a "friended/romanced + saved + trust aj" violet does such a good job rounding out the plot and characters of S4 and i dont say that lightly
she walls people off out of fear just like S3 clem did and learned to grow out of through the compassion of others. feeling like she could have done more to save minnie being what initially makes her step up to lead, but her accepting her love for clem (and clem choosing to save her) is what leads to her Truly accepting the school and everyone inside it as her Home and gives her something to fight for ("i tried my damnedest not to care about either of you. and i still couldnt tell you why." "i know where youre coming from. after losing so many people, sometimes its easier to keep everyone at arms length." "and then you wonder why you fight so hard to stay alive. i dont wonder anymore."). this being the reasoning behind violets detachment from the school, as well as a negative home life impacting her idea of what a home even was. but together they turn ericson from a prison into the home theyve BOTH been looking for, renaming it together, and envisioning it for the future together. the two of them understand each other deeply, from what theyve lost to how its affected them and the poor ways theyve decided to react to it. but through their support of the other, they BOTH get to evolve into more relaxed and confident versions of themselves, who know Exactly what theyre fighting for
her troubled relationship with brody and getting to learn more about what happened with the twins/violets reaction to it and how she ultimately blames herself/brodys guilt about her part in it and how she misses violet. getting the chance to mend that relationship before its too late. the 3 of them becoming closer because of it. and getting to develop clems friendship with brody leads to a more impactful moment later in the basement
her relationship with tenn reflecting clems relationship with aj, in the way they both made the decision to look after their respective boys after their primary guardians died (ajs parents, tenns sisters). both of them can understand the responsibilities they have taken upon themselves, and how hard it can be to do right. the 4 of them become a tight knit group quickly. especially in EP2 as vi supports clem while tenn supports aj through the marlon fiasco
her confused relationship with minerva introducing interesting conflict both within her relationship with clem (who has her own personal conflict with minerva, which vi still ties into through her relationship with both minnie and tenn) and the over arching plot, which has themes of learning when to let someone go because they are no longer who they once were (clem and lilly "we were family once", mitch about ms martin "you get all caught up in who people used to be, and you cant deal with whats in front of you", violet about minnie "the real minnie? shes been gone this whole time and i have to stop mourning her")
having a saved violet on the boat expanding the conversation with minerva about her motivations with the delta. violet apologizing for never looking for her, minnie saying she knows she would have but that its too late now, so sure this is just the way things have to be. getting to hear minnie say "you can be rewarded, just like i am", giving us insight into her character. and clem getting the last word before she rams the door down, her and violet fighting minnie Together. and violet saves clems life, making the Choice to shoot minerva, which in and of itself is a huge moment for violets character in regards to her relationship with both minnie And clem
and aj shooting tenn on the bridge brings things full circle, by putting violet in the same position louis was in EP2, where aj has killed the most important person to her, in an effort to save her life, and now she must reckon with those feelings the same way louis had to about marlon. not so easy now is it violet? ("so youre mad, but sad" "can i be that for a while?" "yeah, its ok")
just... ough... violets whole character just fits into Everything so well, but in a way that elevates the characters and plots around her, while also developing her into her own
#plus tenn dying with minnie feels like looking at a clem and aj Bad End and that feels intentional#and vi being there fighting minnie for tenns life....the boy she took it upon herself to look out for.. and losing him 😭#ALSO i feel like the whole point of S4 is raising aj into someone clem trusts. like did you do a good job raising him or not??#like through the decisions i made i Did naturally trust him in that cave. but after seeing other routes i can def see why some didnt#but even if clem doesnt trust him in that cave he still proves later in the barn that he knows when to make his own call#its more about what clem has to lose/how long it takes for her to trust aj. he knows what hes doing now. clem says as much#none of this is me saying picking louis' route is BAD. im just pointing out the ways violets works on so many levels for me#esp since the season is already so short. all of this really helps to flesh out the plot and side characters in those 4 eps#but anyway this is why i cant stand violet slander especially when people say she was underdeveloped compared to other characters#i just think youre not paying attention to her#but what else is new for female characters#twdg#it speaks
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i love u nekoma & karasuno i love you SO MUCH
#can you tell i just watched the dumpster battle movie#[deep breath] AHHHHHHGGGGHHFHFHFJJFJGKG#ALL THE INTERACTIONS WERE SO FUCKING CUTE 😭😭😭😭#baby kuroo… i forgot how much i adored kuroo oh my god. TEARS IN MY EYES#HES SO FUCKING LAME#he was an emotional wreck this movie. had me giggling#his ass wld NOT leave tsukki alone HELP#omg and bokuto yachi interaction <3#HINATA AND INUOKA I LOVE U SO MUCH#kenma…. this truly was the kenhina movie nobody talk to me#and the mini scene of kuroo and daichi pointing at each other. I DIED!! I DIED!!!!#ourghhhhhh I LOVE THEM ALL SO DEARLY#also the detail of nishinoya moving out of the way when he saved the ball was great. loved that#SUGA 😭😭 HE WAS GOING INSANE LMAO I LOVE HIM SO DEARLY#okay tbh i didnt expect the match to end like that but it’s fine. i was immediately distracted by the FEELS#ALSO OMG. GOSHIKI AND TENDOU WERE SO FUNNY LOL#AND AND NEKOMA THIRD YEARS 😭😭😭 KUROO AND YAKU TEARING UP 😭😭 THEM HUGGING EACH OTHER#IM SOOOO ILL IM SO FUCKING ILL#also the kurodai hug and the kuroo thanking tsukki I FEAR I KEEP WINNING#did i mention the kuroken flashbacks. oh my god. they were so CUTE#BABY KUROO TALKING TO KENMA’S DAD AND HE WAS JUST SO SMALL AND ENTHUSIASTIC UGH 🥹😭#wow. i need to die#wait also. giggles. the kenhina knife scene. 10/10 gayest shit in hq#ahhhh i LOVE THEM#NEKOMA SECOND YEARS TOO. FUKUNAGA U WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS TO ME#anyway u guys shouldve seen me. i was going insane. i was losing it every scene#OH AND THE CREDITS?? kuroshou I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE#‘gotta take a pic to show mika’ this too is kuromikashou or whatever their ship name is#this was the kenhina movie first and the kuroo ship galore movie second /j#anyway i need to go lie down now goodbye
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hc that as a side effect of the oath, the sons of feanor, as they became more and more silmaril-obsessed and oath-driven, start to become more and more like the things they swore the oath to.
like, they begin to look faded and washed out, aside from their eyes, which turn blindingly bright.
despite all the evil they’ve done, the silmarils are hallowed by varda, and so their skin burns to the touch of those who have also done wrong.
(also i think they should glow in the dark a little bit. as a treat.)
by the end of it they’re more wraiths than anything else, halfway between elf and those oathbreakers in RotK; the oath not only mentally but physically consumes them.
#of course this means that by the end maglor and maedhros are almost straight up see-through aside from their eyes#maybe over the centuries maglor slowly become solid again and his eyes begin to lose that brightness#ending up an only slightly brighter than normal version of the tree light#(happy ending) so if he ever ends up in rivendell elrond gets to see him more whole than he ever did before#(sad ending) he’s finally recovered from the effects of the oath but there’s nothing he can do to make up for his actions#anyways#tolkien#the silmarillion#tolkien headcanons#silmarillion headcanons#the sons of feanor#should i tag them all??#maedhros#maglor#celegorm#caranthir#curufin#amrod#amras#OHHH I HAVE ANOTHER THOUGHT what if maglor ends up back in valinor and he HASNT healed all the way but his reborn brothers HAVE
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